It’s crazy stupid that guys who play video games still have this misconception that girls who play are rare; that they are “unicorns”. That’s definitely being debunked in this day and age. Gamer girls are here. We’ve always been here, and we’re growing in numbers! <insert maniacal laugh>
Anyway, I’m here to reassign the title of “Unicorns”. That’s a title that should firmly belong to “gamer girls that date non-gamer guys”.
Let that sink in. That’s right; it happens. I know this because I fall into that category. I am in a relationship with a non-gamer guy. At the beginning of the relationship, our work schedules weren’t in sync and so I had plenty of alone time to game. Now with two new jobs, they do sync up. I’m happy for more time with him, but I am also figuring out that he didn’t really have to deal with the fact that I’m a gamer until now. Now I want to game and he’s there. Now it conflicts with “us” time because we’re always together when we get home from work. This is a dynamic that crops up with any gamer dating a non-gamer, of course, but it’s usually smoothed out much earlier in a relationship.
I’ve tried talking it through with him, but there are just some things that non-gamers don’t understand. I thought we’d arrived at a compromise but when I mentioned that I wanted to game I heard that tell-tale sigh. Desperate for some sort of insight, I do what any geek would do: I hit up the internet.
Anyone else notice how many articles there are on advising gamer guys on how to handle being with a non-gamer girl? It’s damn ridiculous, I tell you! The net is overflowing with them.
- “How to Survive Dating a Gamer”
- “10 Things you Should Know About Dating a Gamer”
- “Scared to Date a Gamer?”
- “The Perfect Non-Gamer Girl”
You would think that at least a few of these would detail what it would be like for a gamer girl to date a non-gamer guy, right? — Nope! It feels like every conversation and article written is geared towards gamer guys and their issues or lack of issues with their non-gamer girlfriends.
But what if you’re the unicorn? What if you’re the gamer girl who dates the non-gamer guy? Some people might reply, “Well then you’d just take the advice and flip-flop it!” That makes sense right? I thought so too until I googled it and began reading. I wanted to see how I could apply all this advice to my own relationship.
I saw a lot of this: “When my girlfriend does her girly things, I use that as a chance to game.”
Girls do have a lot of time consuming girly hobbies that are mostly solo activities. We do our nails, read books, watch reality t.v., binge on Netflix, do arts and crafts, and the list goes on. A lot of the time these are things that guys aren’t interested in so it works out.
So what happens when the tides are turned? Let’s put this into perspective.
Most gamer girls are a tomboy on some level. We tend to enjoy the same things that guys enjoy and our S/O’s know this. The options for what my non-gamer boyfriend does that’s either a solo activity or something I don’t want to do is depressingly scarce. It’s just not the same!
I’m certain that everything will work itself out. The dynamic of the relationship will have to change now that my gaming actually affects our time together, and I sense that he’s alright with that. However, I just wonder where all the advice is for the unicorns of the geek world.
Non-gamer guys: Do you have a girl that games? How did you adjust?
Gamer girls: Do you date a non-gamer? How does that work?
Gamer guys: Help.